Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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