shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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