guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
