How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Banned from zoo.
Again?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
