We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
