When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
