If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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