So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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