WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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