# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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