my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
