she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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