I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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