this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
