yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
jump out the window naked night went bad
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
