Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
