i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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