We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
