There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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