i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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