just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
