i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
