I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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