this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so let's talk penis.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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