fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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