i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
