Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
be right there i have to get my cape
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
