i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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