Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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