After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
