yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
