paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
