Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Who died my cat blue again?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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