In the future we'll all be gay
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm passing your future prison.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
