thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
