It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
