also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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