Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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