he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
