i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
