i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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