Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
