Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
