he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
