New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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