I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
