brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
