how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
