You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
