I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
