New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
